Post by Tifa Lockhart on Jun 18, 2010 0:24:23 GMT -5
June 17...
A lot of things have happened and I don’t know where to begin. I didn’t really want to think about this, to recall all those memories that troubled me but I thought writing them down would be better than holding everything in. I have done that for so long I guess I just got uses to bottling everything inside, but lately with what has happened I can’t help but cry at time, and I don’t know what to do. I thought about sharing my thoughts with someone but right now there is no one to turn to……
Having to work and taking care of the bar is one thing I am glad of. It keeps me busy and that’s something I really need especially now, but back to what’s been bothering me. Well lately I have been avoiding Cloud afraid that if I see him might tell him how I truly feel, those feelings I have hide for so long ever since our childhood. I have considered the thought of telling him more than once, but fear always stopped me. I don’t want to lose him again, but what happened is he confessed to me saying that he loved and wanted to be with me….
I was shocked to hear those words coming from him when for a long time I thought he only saw me as a friend. The first time I thought I just imagined him saying that, but then he repeated his words. I wanted to tell him that I felt the same way but something stopped me a question just came to me, one about Aerith. I thought he was in love with her because that was what it looked like.
It was a simple question really I just wanted to know if I was a replacement for her, and after that I would tell him how much he meant to me I was planning to tell him everything that day, but he didn’t answer me instead he just left the room angry at my question. The next day he left and abandoned me again, and since he did that I thought he didn’t really love me as he said he did.
A part of me wants to move on with my life, I am tired of waiting, or being let down so many time I just can’t take much more of this really, but the other part of me will always love and wait for him. I feel as if I am torn in two, I feel lost and honestly I don’t know what to do…..
Tifa Lockhart
A lot of things have happened and I don’t know where to begin. I didn’t really want to think about this, to recall all those memories that troubled me but I thought writing them down would be better than holding everything in. I have done that for so long I guess I just got uses to bottling everything inside, but lately with what has happened I can’t help but cry at time, and I don’t know what to do. I thought about sharing my thoughts with someone but right now there is no one to turn to……
Having to work and taking care of the bar is one thing I am glad of. It keeps me busy and that’s something I really need especially now, but back to what’s been bothering me. Well lately I have been avoiding Cloud afraid that if I see him might tell him how I truly feel, those feelings I have hide for so long ever since our childhood. I have considered the thought of telling him more than once, but fear always stopped me. I don’t want to lose him again, but what happened is he confessed to me saying that he loved and wanted to be with me….
I was shocked to hear those words coming from him when for a long time I thought he only saw me as a friend. The first time I thought I just imagined him saying that, but then he repeated his words. I wanted to tell him that I felt the same way but something stopped me a question just came to me, one about Aerith. I thought he was in love with her because that was what it looked like.
It was a simple question really I just wanted to know if I was a replacement for her, and after that I would tell him how much he meant to me I was planning to tell him everything that day, but he didn’t answer me instead he just left the room angry at my question. The next day he left and abandoned me again, and since he did that I thought he didn’t really love me as he said he did.
A part of me wants to move on with my life, I am tired of waiting, or being let down so many time I just can’t take much more of this really, but the other part of me will always love and wait for him. I feel as if I am torn in two, I feel lost and honestly I don’t know what to do…..
Tifa Lockhart
